People Metaphors, Analogies and Similes

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Be A Genius With Metaphors

Donna Versace has a face you hang on your door in Africa.

Alan Sugar's normal expression is of someone who has had a brick thrown through his window. His smile is like discovering the Mona Lisa had a toothy grin.

It was a trivial matter but he got more steamed up than Eddie the Eagle's goggles.

Joan Rivers hasn't just had a lift but taken an elevator all the way to the top floor without stopping.

Like Anne Robinson at a Korean restaurant, this would be dog-eat-dog.

Gordon Brown talking tax simplification is like putting Dracula in charge of the blood bank.

His tantrum crushed the jolly party atmosphere as though Fred Dibner had driven a steam engine through the room.

This place has gone downhill quicker than Franz Klammer on a buttered tea tray.

With Clive James, the pitch of his voice drops the punch-line like the football results man reading a home victory.

David Guest resembles the mid-point in a horror-movie transformation sequence. If he didn't wear sunglasses it would be hard to know whether his face was on the right way up. His face indicates he has sat near the fire for too long.

Pierce Brosnan reminds me of the models in men's knitwear catalogues.

Mrs Beckham forgot to say 'when' to a liposuction pump.

Gordon Ramsey charged into the studio kitchen like a male nurse in a mental hospital.

As worse sense of direction than Mark Thatcher.

Referring to David Irvine as a historian is like referring to the metallurgist Uri Geller.

He emerged in a dressing gown too camp for Noel Coward.

He's bluffing like Nick Leeson at poker.

Clarkson's expression had the haughty disdain of a distinguished old wine-waiter at the Pall Mall club.

In presenting press awards I feel rather like a pheasant giving out prizes to the best shot.

Prince Charles

Prince Charles doesn't even have to put his toothpaste on his toothbrush, yet he looks like a cantankerous old man whose life has been ruined by urchins ramming potatoes up his drainpipe.

Buckingham Palace maintain their security works. Presumably much the same way Prince Charles works.

His assertion of victory reminded me of Saddam Hussein's prophecy that the Mongols would be forced to commit suicide at the gates of Baghdad.

Opening letters like a Soviet janitor getting a personal letter from Stalin.

Neil Young's face now resembles a Spitting Image that's been left out in the rain for ten years.

Otto inflated like a SS storm trooper having his iron cross pinned on his chest by Hitler.

He vigorously followed the issue through so completely, like Tiger Woods’s follow-through.

Prescott has the facial expression of an un-tipped waiter.

The fresh-faced advertising executive preached like Anthony Charles Lynton Blair in verb-free sentences.

Lloyd Grossman suffers from irritable vowel syndrome.

Billy Connolly gives money away as silently as a waiter falling down a flight of stairs with a tray of glasses.